Dear Annie: I’ve recently been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer. The prognosis isn’t good, but right now I feel OK and haven’t changed my daily life. My husband is here for me, and we are considering possible treatment plans.
I haven’t told my daughter yet. Truthfully, I don’t know how. She has newborn twins and a 6-year-old daughter. Since her first husband’s suicide four years ago, I’ve dedicated my life to her well-being. Her new husband is a great guy, and I am sure of his strength and support. But she’s already very overwhelmed with the demands of having three young children.
How can I share my news without adding to her stress? Thank you for your advice. — Balancing Burdens
Dear Balancing: There’s never a good time to deliver bad news, but keeping this from your daughter won’t protect her. If anything, the longer you wait, the more blindsided she’ll feel.
Be honest and keep it simple. Tell her your diagnosis, your treatment plan and about the support you have from your husband. The most important thing right now is letting her know your cancer is back. Other details and bigger conversations can happen later down the line.
You’ve spent so much of your life being there for your daughter. Now it’s time to let her be there for you.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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