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Name: Unappreciative customers.
Age: In the case of Don Ciccio, six years.
Am I right in thinking Ciccio can be a common Italian nickname given to people called Francesco? You are. It can also be used as a term of endearment (though probably not so much here, we’ll get to that). In this case Don Ciccio is … was … a restaurant.
Was? No longer then? After exactly six years, the eatery in Highgate, north London, has called it, as they say, un giorno.
Oh, shame, but it’s a tough time for the sector. Still, I bet there was a fun closing-down party to thank the local community for their support, pizzas on the house, chianti flowing … Er, not so much. Just a statement on its website.
Saying? “We have closed due to a lack of customers.”
Oh dear. Unfavourable reviews perhaps? Not so. “It wasn’t enough to be Traveller’s Choice 2023 – 2024 – 2025 on Tripadvisor,” the message continues. “It wasn’t enough to be told we had one of the best pizzas in London. It wasn’t enough to hold 4.7 stars on Google, with 700 reviews for every one of those six years.”
Perhaps people got bored with the menu? “… Nor to change our menu each season, roaming through the flavours of Italy.” At one point the writer hits the caps button; “WE MAY BE THE FIRST ITALIAN RESTAURANT TO CLOSE… not for bad food, bad reviews, or bad luck – but for the sheer indifference of our neighbours.”
Sounds angry, more vaffanculo than addio. Was this place, by any chance, run by a Don Basilico Fawlty? The message ends: “It’s only a drop – soon it will dry. Unless, of course, it’s the beginning of a storm, addio, goodbye.” And is signed simply Don Ciccio.
Ouch! But Don Ciccio’s probably isn’t the first restaurant where there’s been bad feeling between staff and customers? You’re not wrong. Karen’s Diner, a chain that started in Australia in 2021, is one of a movement of restaurants that actually instructs staff to be rude to customers, deliberately, for fun. Make that instructed …
Closed? Yes, the last Karen’s shut down three months ago.
And Fawlty Towers closed after just 12 episodes. Though to be fair that wasn’t about unappreciative viewers or indifferent reviews. It’s still considered an all-time great.
Do say: “On behalf of all the miserable, indifferent, ignorant, unappreciative folk of Highgate, sorry. And best of luck in future ventures, Don Ciccio.”
Don’t say: “Er, what about this Tripadvisor review: ‘The first course took half an hour to arrive and waitress very surly … Terrible service and food. Worse [sic] we have experienced!’”
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