‘I had to step over my dad’s body to feed the calves’

A farmer who struggled with depression after his parents died within two years of each other has urged others to seek help.

George Atwell, from North Somerset, said things “got too much” after he had to step over his dad’s body to go to work in 2016, and his mum then died in 2018.

“My father passed away in the farmhouse, in the kitchen,” he said. “We had calves out in the shed that needed to be fed; I was walking over my father to go to feed the cattle. There’s no other industry that would be doing that.”

Mr Atwell said he wanted others to know “it’s OK not to be OK” after he was supported by the Farming Community Network (FCN), which sent a farmer to help him daily for two months.

Data from the Farm Safety Foundation suggests 95% of young farmers believe mental health is the biggest issue facing the industry.

“The industry faces many stress factors, which are placing increasing pressure on workers and putting them at greater risk of mental ill health,” the foundation said.

“These include extended amounts of time working in isolation, a blurring between work and home life, and financial uncertainty.”

Mr Atwell said he went through a rough patch shortly before the pandemic, when the loss of his parents caught up with him.

Despite the heartbreak he had experienced, he said he needed to get on with farming, which is “full of problems” to deal with, such as “the weather, animals dying, making animals better”.

Mr Atwell said it had been reaching the point where he was unable to sleep.

“I was trying to do everything, be ‘the big I am’,” he said.

“I was terrified to leave the farm, I had hot sweats.”

Mr Atwell’s wife could see something was not right and he went to the doctor for medication to help him with his mental health.

“I didn’t feel normal but, thanks to the support of the farming community, the local farmer that was coming to see me everyday, I managed to turn it around,” Mr Atwell said.

“It’s OK not to be OK and hopefully others can take something from what I’m saying.”

Alex Phillimore, head of communications and development at FCN, said the group arranges farm visits to talk to farmers and families and “act as a neutral third party”.

“FCN is here 365 days of the year to listen, to support and to ‘walk with’ our farming community through any concerns or worries, whether they are personal or business-related,” he said.

“Our wide network of volunteers understand farming life and its unique pressures and are here to help you find a way forward.”