Bezos Will Beat Musk to Mars.. That has to hurt… | by Will Lockett | Jul, 2025

New Glenn — Blue Origin

That has to hurt…

Like many of you, I don’t think billionaires should exist. It’s not migrants, the disabled, Muslims or trans people making life a pain; it’s these rich eejits doing everything they can, including trying to topple our democracies, so they can strip us of as much wealth as possible. Through this lens, the new-age private space race just looks like a painful dick-swinging competition between the worst people on planet Earth. But we can expect even worse dick-swinging to come, because Bezos’ Blue Origin has now been predicted to eventually beat Musk’s SpaceX to Mars. Grab your popcorn, because this is going to get messy!

Firstly, how has this happened?

Well, Blue Origin’s New Glenn rocket, which successfully reached orbit with a 20-tonne payload on its first test launch (take note, Elon!), is in the process of undergoing its second flight. They conducted static fire tests of its second stage way back in April, and according to Ars Technica, they are now in the final stages of preparation, with a launch in September or August looking likely.

New Glenn isn’t as large as Starship, but it is still bigger than SpaceX’s ubiquitous Falcon 9 and categorised as a heavy-launch vehicle. That means it can carry serious payloads to other celestial bodies, such as the Moon or Mars. As such, it is actually…

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