He’s ditched coffee for matcha lattes, carries copies of bell hook’s feminist critique, his playlists are dominated by Clairo and Laufey — and his version of masculinity is increasingly being scrutinized. The performative male is a man accused of inauthentically engaging with feminine interests and performing feminism disingenuously, presumably for the purpose of attracting women.
The archetype emerged as a light-hearted online trend, with men going to absurd lengths to prove their performativity, from wearing Labubus on comically large carabiners to staging protests against period cramps. However, accusing someone of being performative has much deeper implications. People are increasingly comfortable levying that accusation against men, both online and in the real world.
Calling a man performative for having certain interests implies that men aren’t truly capable of enjoying things coded as feminine. While most might be performing for an audience, many probably do actually enjoy the drinks, clothes and media that they’re being criticized for engaging with. In some ways, questioning a man for listening to Clairo is akin to questioning a woman for watching football — the immediate negative assumption stems from stereotypes.
Rebecca Bigler, a professor emerita of psychology and women’s and gender studies, specializes in the construction of gender stereotypes in children. Bigler argues that gender roles are deeply rooted and often difficult to escape.
“One of the things we know about stereotypes is that people often internalize them and use them to guide their own behavior,” Bigler said. “For the most part, children are all raised in a (gender) binary world. … You have to learn the gender categories, what goes with being a boy and what goes with being a girl. … Some people internalize those things that go with their group and think, ‘Those are things that I should do or that I want to do.’”
In many ways, the accusation of performativeness stems from deeply ingrained stereotypes about masculinity. Traditionally, men aren’t supposed to pander to women or like the things that women do. Men who align themselves with femininity are often accused of being weak, emotional or unmasculine. This negative perception of feminine men isn’t new, but this trend makes light of it in an arguably harmful way. On top of scrutinizing men for deviating from traditional masculinity, it also perpetuates the idea that men can’t seriously entertain feminism outside of a desire to attract women.
Political communications sophomore Marisol Ramirez-Gonzalez says she’s jokingly called men performative in the past, but she also reflects on the implications of those jokes.
“People are going to be like, ‘Why do you like that? That’s for women,’ but I feel like people should (enjoy) what they like instead of being bashed for it,” Ramirez-Gonzalez said. “I feel like (women) don’t really take (performative men) seriously, and some people label them as gay. They might create rumors about that person or treat them horribly because of it.”
In reality, everyone performs gender. People carry notions of masculinity and femininity as a result of binary messaging and often feel uncomfortable when these notions are challenged. Accusing men of a performance when they dare to be themselves in ways society codes as feminine is unproductive; performative men, in many ways, openly challenge traditional gender stereotypes and help to create broader definitions of masculinity.
It’s essential to recognize the power in our rhetoric. The perpetuation of gender stereotypes, even innocently, can stop people from being their authentic selves. Let men read their feminist literature and drink their matcha; ultimately, their performance is a valid means of self-expression.
Tuscano is a government sophomore from Round Rock, Texas.