I live in my own world
Hi Guru,
I am a 14-year-old boy, and I am an only child. My mum loves me very much, but she is overly careful about me. I am not allowed to go out and play with boys my age because she says they will spoil me, as they use bad language and get into fights. I study at a very good school in Lahore, and my mother both drops me off and picks me up. My classmates make fun of me because when she sees me, she hugs me. I asked her not to do it a couple of times, but it made her so sad that I stopped. I have no friends at school, as I am not allowed to visit other boys’ houses. Behind my back, I am called ‘mama’s boy’, which makes me very embarrassed. Over time, I have started feeling more content with my own company.
I have created an imaginary world where I have friends, play games, get into playful fights, and live like a normal kid. My teacher told my parents that I am an introvert who does not mix with other children in my class. I think I do want to talk to others, but I cannot speak openly as I feel a bit shy; I feel as though they will make fun of me. I talk to some cousins, but I do not feel comfortable sharing my problems with them. I cannot seem to share my inner thoughts with anyone, and I often feel very lonely. Guru, is it normal to be an introvert, or is something wrong with me? How can I improve myself? Do you have any suggestions?
Lonely Boy
Dear Lonely Boy,
First of all, relax! You are a completely normal kid. It is normal to be an introvert. Being introverted simply means you feel more comfortable and energised in your own company or in smaller, quieter groups, rather than large, noisy gatherings. Nothing is ‘wrong’ with you. If kids are calling you a ‘mama’s boy’ to get under your skin, the first thing to realise is that they are trying to get a reaction out of you. If you get angry or hurt and show it, they’ve won. You can deal with them by staying calm. If possible, give them a smile. If they see you’re not upset, they will stop teasing you. However, feeling lonely is a sign that you do want some connection with others, and there are many ways to achieve this without forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations. You can start by finding shared interests with one or two classmates. You can, perhaps, discuss a subject like a book, a sport, or even a TV show. Try to participate in class discussions. Offering snacks to your classmates can be an ice-breaker. This way, you can build connections naturally, without feeling pressured to talk about personal matters. Going out and interacting with boys your age will help you overcome your shyness. Have you thought about asking your mother to allow you to join activities like art classes, taekwondo or sports after school? Private classes in various fields of interest are held for students on weekends and even after school. Your mother would probably be more comfortable with that. It would also help to talk to your mother honestly, explaining that you understand her concerns but need more opportunities to interact with people your age. Over time, small, positive interactions will build your confidence.
Good luck!
I love my teacher
Dear Guru,
I am a 12-year-old girl. I have a loving family and lots of friends. The only problem is that I am in love with my PT teacher. He is very good-looking and funny, but he is friendly with all the girls in my class. I want him to be friends with me only. I want him to realise I love him, and I am not okay with him talking to other girls. What can I do to make him understand? Please help me.
Upset Girl
Dear Upset Girl,
At your age, it’s natural to admire teachers, but what you’re feeling is a crush, not real love. Your PT teacher’s role is to be friendly and fair to every student, not just you. Instead of trying to make him treat you differently, focus on enjoying your friendships, hobbies, and school activities. With time, these feelings will fade, and you’ll understand that your teacher’s job is to guide all students equally.
Good luck!
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