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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jade Wilson, a 31-year-old senior software engineer at Microsoft, about being diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Business Insider has verified Wilson’s employment and diagnoses. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

When I first started working at Microsoft as a software engineer in 2022, I didn’t know I was autistic or that I had ADHD. I just knew that I reacted to things differently.

I was especially sensitive to noise. It was hard to sit still in meetings without fidgeting, and the office lights felt overstimulating.

Making eye contact was always difficult, and social interactions sometimes left me confused.

Infrequently, I’d have bursts of overwhelm, where I’d get emotional and couldn’t stop crying.

I never saw anyone struggling like I was. I knew that something wasn’t right, but I wasn’t sure what.

A later-in-life diagnosis

I had previously been a lead software engineer at another company. Joining Microsoft was a dream come true.

I put so much effort into preparing for the interview process. If you told me as a little girl she’d be working for one of the biggest tech companies in the world, she wouldn’t have believed you.

About a year into working at Microsoft, I started considering getting a diagnosis.

It wasn’t until my late 20s that I realised what I was experiencing could be autism and ADHD. When I described my struggles to people, a few asked me if I had considered that I might be autistic.

In January, I was diagnosed with autism at 30. A month later, I also received an ADHD diagnosis.

It helped me understand myself better.

In previous jobs where I had to go into the office regularly, I would get overstimulated without even realizing it.

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I’d get headaches from fluorescent office lighting. Background noise made it difficult to focus during meetings. At my desk, I typically wore headphones, which meant I wasn’t talking to my colleagues much.

I also found that I needed to move around. When I had to sit down in meetings, I’d get restless and need to doodle to keep myself engaged.

Thankfully, working remotely for Microsoft has made a big difference. I still go into the office occasionally, but mostly work from home where I have a setup that works for me.

I avoid harsh, overhead lighting and rely on natural light instead. There’s a walking pad under my desk for when I’m feeling restless.

Working in this industry still throws up challenges, but my diagnoses have helped me better understand my reactions.

I’ve spent a lot of my life being told I’m rude

Networking events were — and still are — difficult for me. I sometimes struggle to initiate conversations with strangers.

Before my diagnoses, I used to drink at these events as a coping mechanism. Now, I’m more accepting of myself. I don’t feel the need to drink, and I give myself permission to leave a networking event early if I want to.

How I communicate with colleagues is also challenging. People often tell me I’m rude when, in reality, I’m being direct.

I’m good at gap analysis — spotting what’s missing, identifying requirements, and building robust solutions.

My autism shaped my interests and made me better at mathematics, which gave me the ability to identify gaps and gather requirements well.

But it’s a strength that can sometimes be misread. To others, it can look like I’m constantly finding flaws in everything when I’m trying to problem-solve.

It’s mostly about how I ask questions at work. From my perspective, I’m just being thorough. Colleagues can take it as criticism, even though that’s not my intention.

Since being diagnosed, I’ve made more of an effort to consider how my words might land.

I make sure when I’m writing things like emails, I remain factual, but consider the emotions that people might associate with certain words.

I sometimes struggle with cognitive empathy — the ability to understand someone’s emotions without having experienced them myself. I find it easier to engage with rational empathy, so I’ve spent a lot of time trying to rationalize how my wording could make someone else feel.

If a colleague takes something the wrong way, I’ll now explain that I’m autistic and have ADHD. I’ll say something along the lines of, “I didn’t mean it as criticism, and my preferred communication method is direct language.”

It helps others understand that my communication might be different.

So far, I think it has been taken well, and I think it has raised awareness of the struggles and strengths that people with autism and ADHD have.

I’ve been in constant communication with my manager, who is very supportive, and my team, too, and they’ve all been very open-minded.

The growth mindset

A big thing at Microsoft is the growth mindset — always looking for ways to improve yourself regardless of your situation.

Working on my communication is something I’ve been doing since finding out I’m autistic and have ADHD. For me, this is constant self-growth.

I want people to understand that I’m not intentionally difficult, and I want to do a good job like everyone else.

We all need to be aware of how people work and communicate differently. I don’t call out neurotypical colleagues for being fluffy or abstract in their communication. I try to understand their point of view, and I hope they understand mine, too.

That awareness shouldn’t stop with autism, ADHD, or other labels. It’s about respecting everyone’s differences and making the effort to understand perspectives that aren’t our own.

Do you have a story to share about being neurodiverse at a Big Tech company? Contact this reporter at jzitser@businessinsider.com.