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When Nicola Whyte first moved into a four-bedroom house share in Balham 16 years ago, she never imagined she would still be living there at 45. But with rents soaring, and ongoing challenges in saving up for a house deposit, she has ended up as a housemate far longer than she anticipated.

“I didn’t think I was going to be here 16 years later, but I’m not unhappy,” she said. “My friends sometimes think I’m a bit weird, they ask me how I can still do it. But I really enjoy it. The rent is really reasonable, it’s close to work and I think it gives you a deeper understanding of people.”

Data from SpareRoom, the UK’s leading website for flat and house shares, has shown a significant shift in the market in recent years, with roommates under 35 in decline and those aged over 35 on the rise.

Their survey of more than 3,500 flatmates showed that under-25s now make up just 26% of the market, down from 32% a decade ago, while renters 45 and above now make up 16%, up from 10% in 2015.

The rise in older flatmates has also led to a rise in multigenerational households – almost two-fifths of flatmates said they lived in a house where the age difference between the oldest and youngest adult was 20 years or more.

Whyte’s youngest current flatmate is 28, 17 years younger than her, and over the years she has lived with people from 21 to their late 40s. Mostly everyone gets along well, although the large age gaps have sometimes thrown up problems when people have different ideas of housemate etiquette.

An older, more independent housemate might struggle with collegiate decision-making, while younger tenants may be more likely to keep antisocial hours or have parties.

“There have been some people who didn’t really fit in” said Whyte, who works for the local council. “But really, it’s less about someone’s age and more about who they are as a person.”

Experts say a combination of fewer under-25s leaving home, and older renters being priced out of home ownership and renting solo, is thought to be fuelling the change in housemate demographics. “People think of flat sharing being a young people’s game but the older cohort are growing by far the fastest,” said Matt Hutchinson, the director of SpareRoom.

“Older people are sharing for longer and there’s this preconception that people want to live with people just like them, but actually some people prefer to live with people of different ages, different backgrounds.”

Another key factor behind the rise of age-gap house shares is over-65s sharing their homes with lodgers, something that has increased by 38% over the past two years according to SpareRoom.

When Thea May, 29, moved to south-west Wales for a new job, she found there was “literally nowhere” to rent – everything was either too expensive or in poor condition.

In desperation, her mum posted on a local Facebook group and 67-year-old Paul Williams replied – after his daughter moved out for university, he had a spare room and was looking for some company.

“I did initially think: he’s a man who’s a lot older than me, is this a wild idea? But it really wasn’t, we just got on straight away,” said May. “It provides a level of purpose, friendship and companionship for both of us.

“I don’t think I ever really notice the age gap. It mostly shows itself in the way that it confounds expectations, like sometimes if I say I don’t fancy watching TV because I want to do my crochet, he’ll say: are you actually 29? We just bumble along.

“I feel very lucky and it’s quite a profound experience. I do hope to be able to buy a home, but living near to Paul is a massive factor now.”

Williams, who was looking for some extra income and felt sharing his space was the morally right thing to do, never expected the pair’s friendship to blossom in the way it has.

“I thought she would live upstairs and we wouldn’t see much of each other,” he said. “But I can’t believe my luck in how we’ve hit it off. My friends will say: I don’t think I’d want to live with a stranger like that. But she’s not a stranger, there is a friendship now and a bond.”

Nick Henley, a co-founder of Cohabitas, a house-sharing site for over-40s, said 18% of the last 5,000 people who registered said they would be open to living in an intergenerational home.

On their platform, this can mean in traditional house shares, or things like a “helpful housemate” setup, where people move in with an older person to help with chores or for companionship.

“I think the majority of people will have to house share in the future, that’s the way things are going,” said Henley. “We need developers to start building shared housing, but it’s not happening. They’re building small places, single dwellings for young people.”

Housing charities have warned that homelessness among over-60s is rising, and single older people are increasingly likely to end up in house shares if they don’t own a property as they head into retirement.

SpareRoom said the proportion of flatsharers who are 65 and above has tripled in the past decade, although accounts for only 2.4% of the market.

“I can’t quite understand why it’s not a bigger topic, that we have a generation of people who can’t afford to buy a home,” said Hutchinson. “It’s a ticking timebomb that’s just waiting to go off.”