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With the holiday season in swing, the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) North Bay and District is drawing attention to a growing but often hidden reality: family estrangement.

While the holidays are widely portrayed as a time of togetherness, for many people, they can instead amplify feelings of loss, loneliness, and disconnection.

CMHA officials say those emotions are becoming more common as more Canadians distance themselves from family relationships that feel unsafe or unhealthy.

CMHA North Bay and District is shining a light on why estrangement is on the rise, how it affects mental health, and how to support people struggling during the holidays.

Estrangement refers to the intentional distancing or separation from family members or other significant relationships.

While Canadian data is limited, a Cornell University study in the United States found that 27 per cent of adults reported being estranged from at least one family member, according to CMHA officials. Mental health professionals in Canada say they are seeing similar trends.

The issue, they say, often becomes more visible during the holiday season, when social expectations around family are heightened.

“The holiday season can be especially challenging for people experiencing estrangement,” said Mary Davis, CEO of CMHA North Bay and District.

“Many people find the holiday season to be a stark reminder of what’s missing, including loved ones and meaningful relationships.”

CMHA North Bay and District Health Promotion Coordinator Malinda Hirvilammi says estrangement is being talked about more openly, even if it remains misunderstood.

“In terms of the rise in family estrangement, we can’t really quantify the data because there’s not really a lot of statistics right now in Canada,” Hirvilammi told BayToday. “We do know it exists.”

She says the organization is seeing increased conversation around estrangement, often referred to as “no contact,” particularly through social media and broader mental health discussions.

“Wording can have a lot of impact on how people feel safe in terms of talking about things,” she said, adding that estrangement does not always mean completely cutting someone out of one’s life.

“There are varying degrees that people are creating boundaries around protecting their mental health,” she said. “It doesn’t necessarily need to be full no contact.”

Hirvilammi says the holidays can intensify pressure and stigma for people who are estranged.

“It’s a heavily perceived time of family engagement, fond memories—it might not be fond for everybody,” Hirvilammi said.

“The idea that we need to have a perfect holiday, that our family needs to look a specific way, those pressures can be increasingly heavy on someone who’s going through an estranged relationship.”

CMHA psychotherapist Emily Colby says estrangement often develops over time rather than through a single event.

“It can be things like breakdown of the family, people not respecting boundaries,” Colby explained. “What happens over time is people feel like they’re not respected or like they’re not valued in their family system.”

She added that the emotional toll often peaks during the holidays.

“You walk by stores, and they say, ‘Hey, get this gift for your loved ones,’” Colby said. “It creates this grief and this guilt, even the comparison among families that their family doesn’t look like the other families that they regularly see.”

Colby says estrangement can be especially common among people in recovery.

“People will turn to things like substance use to help them get through challenges with their family,” she said.

When people enter recovery, she says, unresolved family issues often resurface.

“So, a lot of times people do have an increase in stepping away or putting boundaries in place,” Colby said.

Both Hirvilammi and Colby stressed the importance of connection, even when family relationships are strained or absent.

“Having a sense of connection, a sense of family, is really important for your overall mental health,” Hirvilammi said. “What that looks like may not necessarily be a blood relative.”

CMHA North Bay and District offers peer support programs that focus on connection and shared lived experience.

“Connecting with people who have that understanding, lived experience, and additional emotional safety is really important,” Hirvilammi said.

They hope the conversation will reduce stigma and remind people they are not alone.

“It’s becoming very prevalent,” Colby said.

“It’s important for these people to feel like they have somewhere to go and that they are supported, because that could be any of us.”

For more information, visit the CMHA North Bay and District website.

While standing on the sideline watching a high school soccer game, my friend, who owned a small and successful construction company, complained that his son – a senior – was starting at a respected local university that fall, which would cost roughly $200,000 over the next four years.

“I could take the same money and set him up in a contracting business,” he said. “It would be a much better investment.”

That was in 2010. The kid did go to that college and graduated four years later with a degree in history. Where do you think he is now? Working in the construction business.

Ask anyone in the construction business and they’ll complain about the lack of skilled workers in their trade. The numbers support these concerns. The Associated General Contractors of America reported this past year that 92% of firms have had a hard time filling positions and 45% delayed at least one project due to labor shortages. A worker shortage model from the Associated Builders and Contractors estimates that the industry must attract 499,000 workers in 2026 to meet demand. The National Association of Homebuilders estimates the number to be as high as 723,000 annually.

Why the shortage? Among the reasons is that younger workers have gravitated away from working with their hands over the past few decades in lieu of office jobs. Older workers are getting older – the National Center for Construction Education and Research estimates that about 41% of the current construction workforce will retire by 2031. And the current administration’s immigration policy has not only dried up the flow of potential overseas workers but have driven many construction workers – even those with proper documentation – underground.

The building of datacenters has surged over the past few years and construction workers on those projects are in such high in demand they’re seeing pay jumps of 25% to 30% compared to their previous jobs – and in some cases, much more. Good for them, but that’s not going to last forever.

What will happen very soon is – as interest rates continue to fall and new tax incentives begin to take hold – a new demand from both homebuyers and businesses looking to build and buy properties will – after more than five years – return and return strong. This is a cyclical industry. Things have been in the trough. But when the recovery happens, the peak will be high. Which means there will be an enormous need for new constructions workers.

For many in the industry facing such labor shortages, that scenario is daunting. I think the opposite.

Thanks to AI, there will be an obliteration of entry-level jobs and the meaningless white-collar work. Where will they go? There will be other opportunities – startups and new jobs we’ve never heard of (20% of today’s jobs didn’t even exist in 2000). But many will gravitate towards the trades – a place where AI can’t replace them.

We’re already seeing this trend develop. Trade school enrollment is up significantly since the pandemic and is expected to increase as much as 7% annually through 2030, a rate significantly higher than other forms of higher education. The ranks of students studying construction trades alone rose 23% over the past year, according to another report. Young people are not stupid. They’re following the money.